Caught
by Kribu
Summary: Valkyrie and Skulduggery are happily together, although no one else knows about it yet. However, this is about to change. Sequel to A Skeletal Romance. Valduggery, obviously. Now with Part II - meeting the parents.
1. Part I

A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to _A Skeletal Romance_. It's probably going to be a few loosely connected one-shots/chapters centred around or connected by the theme of "whoops, we've been found out". Each part will be fairly self-contained. I have some vague ideas for the next parts, but cannot make any promises about when I'll get around to writing them. Thanks to refya for betaing this, as always!

Disclaimer: Characters, settings, or basically anything you recognise are not mine. They belong to the amazing Derek Landy. I make no money from this.

* * *

**Part I**

Valkyrie wondered, not for the first time in recent weeks, what exactly it was that made Skulduggery so irresistible. Or what exactly it was that made it impossible for her to keep her hands off him.

"Let's spend a quiet night in," he'd suggested. "We could even watch something. A movie, maybe. Something fun."

Of course she'd agreed. Spending every night chasing criminals was fun, too, but on the other hand, the promise of an evening in the comfort of Gordon's mansion, without getting kicked in the ribs or without someone trying to set you on fire… It was certainly tempting. As was the idea of doing something _normal_ with Skulduggery.

_So_, the part of her brain that wasn't busy with working out the most ticklish spot on Skulduggery's ribcage asked her, _why are you once again sprawled all over him, quite naked?_

"Skulduggery?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"Weren't we supposed to watch something tonight? A movie?"

"We were indeed." He was batting her fingers away from his ribs, but noticeably avoided putting too much effort into it. She judged it safe to continue with what she had been doing.

"So why am I sprawled naked all over you now on the sofa instead?"

"Because your DVD collection is, frankly, appalling."

"Ah. Well, everything I have is in colour, I suppose. Did you tell me that before we ended up here?"

"You attacked me and took away my clothes before I had the chance."

"Oh. So I did. Sorry about that."

"I don't mind." His voice, velvety as ever, caressed her cheek, and Valkyrie felt she was in grave danger of melting into a puddle if he kept that up.

She shifted a little, trying to find a more comfortable pose. Skulduggery, ever the gentleman, always made sure there was a bit of air acting as a cushion between some of the harder, sharper angles of his frame and her, but on the narrow sofa, finding the perfect position was still complicated. It was worth it, though – she loved the way he felt, smooth cool bone against warm skin.

She closed her eyes and snuggled closer, placing kisses along his jaw. Skulduggery's arms were wrapped around her now, his fingers dancing along her back, when they suddenly stilled.

They were not alone any more. And she didn't need to read the air to know it.

Someone drew in a sharp breath. Someone else cleared her throat. Someone shuffled his feet.

"Valkyrie? We seem to have company," Skulduggery said, his voice completely flat.

She opened her eyes and slowly craned her neck, very aware that her clothes were somewhere on the floor. If their unexpected guests were there to kill them… That would be embarrassing.

xXx

Well.

They weren't in mortal danger, but the reality wasn't much better. Valkyrie closed her eyes with a sigh and let her head fall onto Skulduggery's shoulder, hoping that this was just a bad dream. She opened her eyes again a moment later, but nothing had changed.

Fletcher. She should have known. Who else could have got in without them noticing the arrival of guests?

Her former boyfriend was standing in the middle of the room, his face red and his hair mussed. Valkyrie had to crane her neck some more to get a better view, but it looked like his fists were clenched, too. He was staring right at her— Well, at least her arse wasn't something that he hadn't seen before, but Valkyrie winced mentally anyway. Awkward, definitely awkward.

Ghastly was right next to him. Unlike Fletcher, he was pointedly looking anywhere but in the direction of the sofa. Next to them, Tanith, eyes wide open and one hand clapped over her mouth, had just picked Skulduggery's jacket off the floor.

"Thanks," Valkyrie mumbled, as Tanith stepped closer and handed the jacket to Skulduggery, who draped it over her back. He was still trapped under her, but Valkyrie didn't feel inclined to get up yet.

"It's always wonderful to have visitors drop by," Skulduggery said, "but I have to admit that this is somewhat unexpected."

"Why are you all here?" Valkyrie asked. "And more importantly, what are _you_ doing teleporting into my home, Fletcher? There is a perfectly fine doorbell outside!"

Fletcher had apparently overcome the shock that kept him quiet. "You lied to me!" he shouted, at the same time as Ghastly, who was busy studying the carpet, said, "Fletcher came to get us—".

Valkyrie raised her voice. "First of all, Fletcher, I didn't lie to you! Second, shut up. Ghastly, you were saying…?"

"Fletcher popped over just a while ago and said he had been around to Skulduggery's house, and found no sign of him. And that he'd then tried the phone, but got no answer. And that he'd been inside—"

"You went inside _my_ house?" Skulduggery sounded incredulous. "But— Oh. I never did get around to setting the anti-teleportation defences, did I?"

"If I may continue?" Ghastly said. "I tried to ring you myself, Skul, but your phone was switched off. Not knowing what was wrong, I asked Fletcher to take me back to your house. From the layer of dust covering everything, it looked like you hadn't been there for days if not weeks."

"Ghastly and Fletcher then came back to pick me up," added Tanith, who seemed to have found her voice at last, although her eyes were still wide open with disbelief. "So we decided to come here and ask Valkyrie if she knew anything about this mysterious disappearance." She raised an eyebrow. "I would say that we have our answer now."

Valkyrie scowled. "Now that you know where Skulduggery is, can you all just go away again?"

"Not before you've told me what the hell is going on here!" Fletcher was clearly not in the mood to go anywhere. "I think I deserve that much, at least. You told me there was nothing between you and Skulduggery, and I believed you, Val! I believed you."

"I told you the truth." Valkyrie's shoulders sagged and she had to fight the temptation to bury her face in Skulduggery's shoulder. "Look, I know what it looks like, but I didn't lie to you. All right, we can talk, but… Could you all just go away for a bit and let us get dressed first?"

xXx

Once their unexpected visitors had withdrawn to the kitchen to make some tea and sandwiches – not without some more angry sputtering from Fletcher, whom Ghastly and Tanith had finally dragged away with them – Valkyrie pushed herself up, keeping the jacket around her shoulders.

She sighed. "I'm really sorry about all this."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "What are you sorry for?"

"The unexpected invasion?"

"You didn't invite them here, did you?"

"No."

"See. Nothing for you to be sorry about."

Valkyrie smiled and reached for her clothes. "I'm sorry we got disturbed. And for Fletcher yelling. And I suppose I wanted to keep this – this thing we have – just between us for a little longer."

"We can blame Fletcher for all that." Skulduggery hesitated for a moment. "You don't mind that they know, do you?"

Valkyrie turned and looked at him. The perpetual grin on his face couldn't mask the insecurity she had caught in his voice. She let her fingertips caress his jaw before she answered. "No, I don't mind. I could have wished for a less embarrassing way for them to find out, but they'd have found out sooner or later."

He caught her fingers in his. "And you don't mind that everyone will think you're weird?"

She gave a slight shrug. "Ghastly will understand. So will Tanith, although I should warn you that she will probably want to know all the details. Fletcher…" She sighed. "We should get dressed before they send someone out to see what is taking us so long."

The clothes, scattered around the sofa, didn't take long to put on. Valkyrie threw on her jeans and T-shirt, not bothering with socks or underwear; she grinned at the sight of Skulduggery straightening his tie.

"I think it's a bit late for you to dress to impress," she said. "They did just see you naked, you know."

"A man should always look his best." Skulduggery picked up his jacket and put that on, too. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll be."

She didn't want to talk to Fletcher. She didn't think she owed him anything, least of all an explanation – not after the way he just barged in on them – and there really had been nothing going on between her and Skulduggery when she'd broken up with Fletcher, so it wasn't as if she'd lied to him… Or was it a lie? When she'd known she had feelings for her skeletal partner; feelings she had been sure would never be reciprocated, so she'd never mentioned them to anyone?

She shook her head. She might never have told Fletcher the truth, and she might have led him on, although never on purpose, but she'd never lied to him. And she had for the longest time believed, really believed, that she and Fletcher had a chance.

xXx

Fletcher glared at them from his seat at the kitchen table. Tanith, who didn't even bother to try and suppress the grin on her face, offered Valkyrie a steaming mug of tea, which she accepted gratefully. At least it gave her something to keep her hands busy. Ghastly was preparing a tray of sandwiches.

Valkyrie took another seat at the table. Skulduggery placed himself behind her, leaning against a cupboard, and crossed his arms.

There was an awkward silence.

Skulduggery tapped his fingers against the back of Valkyrie's chair.

Tanith cleared her throat. "So, um, I guess the two of you are together?"

"We are indeed." Skulduggery's voice was smooth.

"Have been for a couple of weeks now," Valkyrie added, glaring at Fletcher across the table.

"A couple of weeks. Sure." Fletcher's mug met the table with a clink. "Why don't you just admit you've been screwing the skeleton for months now? Or has it been longer? Years, even? Did you laugh at me behind my back? Did you?"

He swiped at his eyes angrily. Valkyrie saw the way they glistened, and opened her mouth to answer, when Fletcher continued. "It's sick. You and him. Sick, twisted, and just— Just plain wrong."

"Fletcher."

He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Don't. Just don't."

Tanith caught Valkyrie's eye and put her arm on his shoulder before he could teleport away. "I think you should listen to what Valkyrie has to say, Fletcher."

Valkyrie cradled her mug in her hands. "I'm sorry, Fletcher. I'm sorry that you had to find out like this, but…" She caught herself before she could start telling Fletcher how it was all his fault. She couldn't do that now, not if she wanted him to listen. "I didn't lie to you. Skulduggery has been my best friend since the day I met him. You knew that. He's been my teacher and my mentor. We're colleagues. Partners. But that was all there was between us. Friendship. We… There was never anything else, not until things changed a few weeks ago."

Fletcher stared at her for a moment before turning his eyes at Skulduggery. "Is it true?"

"It is."

"How do I know you're not lying to me now?"

Valkyrie looked at him. "Why would I have stayed with you if I'd been with Skulduggery?"

Fletcher shrugged. "For the sex?"

Valkyrie snorted before she realised this was probably not the right response at this time.

"I'm sorry, Fletcher. I can't offer you proof, but please believe me. And I really never meant to hurt you. I liked being with you. I really did."

He shrugged again. "Don't expect me to understand. I'll, um, be going now."

Tanith let go of his shoulder and a moment later, there were only the four of them left in the kitchen.

Valkyrie took a sip of her tea. It was still hot.

"Sandwich?" Ghastly held out the tray.

"Uh. Thanks."

There was another awkward silence.

Valkyrie bit into the sandwich. It was good, and she was surprisingly hungry, although her stomach felt a little queasy after the confrontation with Fletcher. Even though it had gone well, all things considered.

"I've known you for a very long time, Ghastly," Skulduggery said at last. "You have something to say. You have that look on your face."

Ghastly grimaced. "I was hoping to talk to you in private."

"I think I can guess." Skulduggery's voice was as smooth as ever, but there was a slight edge to it. "You don't approve."

Ghastly shrugged. "It's none of my business, I suppose, but as your friend, I owe you my honest opinion. No, I don't approve. I suspected that this would happen someday, but frankly, I hoped it wouldn't be for a few years yet. Valkyrie's very young—" He gave her an apologetic look. "I know you're an adult, and have been more than old enough to make up your own mind for a good while now, but… Skulduggery's so much older than you. You don't know his past—"

"You're over three hundred years older than Tanith," Valkyrie cut in. "I don't think it's a problem. Tanith doesn't think it's a problem. Do you think it's a problem? And I think I know enough of Skulduggery's past. Maybe not everything – it would take far too long for him to tell me everything, and I'd never ask him to, but I know enough to have a pretty good idea. Besides, it's the man he is now that matters to me."

Skulduggery's hands moved to her shoulders. She smiled slightly.

Ghastly's eyes had followed Skulduggery's hands. He shook his head. "I'm not blind, you know. I see the way the two of you are when you're together. I suppose it was meant to be, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Still, it's none of my business, and I won't speak of it again."

Valkyrie looked at Tanith. "Don't tell me you disapprove, too?"

Tanith shrugged. "It's a little weird, but to be honest, I sort of expected it to happen eventually. Didn't think you'd get tired of the pretty boys quite so soon – it took me several decades to get to this point – but as Ghastly said, it's been obvious to everyone who knows you two that you'd end up together sooner or later. Although I rather wish I hadn't seen that little display on the sofa. I'll have nightmares forever!"

Valkyrie blushed. "Well, you weren't exactly meant to see that. But thanks. It's good to have someone on our side, too."

"In spite of what I said, I _am_ on your side, too," Ghastly said. He glanced at Skulduggery. "Skul, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. It'll just take me a bit to come around to the idea."

"Fair enough." The edge was gone from Skulduggery's voice. "Say – why did Fletcher want me, anyway? It's not like him to search me out like this on his own. Was there an emergency of some kind?"

Ghastly and Tanith looked at each other. "No idea," Tanith said. "He never said, did he?"

Ghastly shook his head. "Not that I can remember. It didn't occur to me to ask either – I was too busy to wonder about what had happened to Skulduggery."

"And you couldn't just ring me?" Valkyrie asked.

"I tried," Tanith said. "There was no answer."

"Oh. Right." Valkyrie remembered her phone was in her bedroom upstairs. "I'd have seen the missed call eventually."

"With no answer from either of you, we thought you might be in trouble." Tanith looked apologetic. "Really, if I'd known, I'd never have allowed the boys to barge in on you like that."

Valkyrie took another bite of her sandwich. The tea had gone cold now and she pushed the mug away. "We should probably ask China about those anti-teleporting spells or symbols," she said, glancing up at Skulduggery. "She'd know what to do, right?"

"I'm quite sure she would." Skulduggery cocked his head. "Fletcher won't be happy."

"Fletcher isn't happy anyway. And I really don't want to be disturbed like this again, not when we're—"

"I don't want to know!" Tanith cut in.

Valkyrie grinned. She knew Tanith's curiosity would get the better of her eventually, but for now, she decided to spare her friend. They'd all had enough awkwardness for one day.

She looked at the tray of sandwiches sitting forlornly on the table.

"Does anyone else want a sandwich?" she asked. "They're really good."

xXx

When they were alone again at last, Valkyrie put her arms around Skulduggery and laid her head against his chest. A moment went by before he pulled her closer.

They stood silently for a while until Skulduggery spoke. "Perhaps Ghastly was right."

Valkyrie looked up into his face. "Do you really think so?"

"You are very young. And there is a lot about my past I haven't told you."

"I've known you for seven years. I've spent nearly every day with you for those seven years. I may be young, and I know there is a lot you haven't told me, but I think I have a fairly good idea of the man you are now."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you."

"Skulduggery… "

"I haven't always been the hero."

"I know. Nearly everyone I've met has told me that."

"And it doesn't bother you? I've done things I'm not proud of."

She closed her eyes. The memories of that night at MacGillycuddy's Reeks were always there, just below the surface of her conscious mind.

"So have I."

He was quiet for a moment. "What Fletcher said – about this thing between us being sick, and twisted, and wrong – you realise that this is what everyone will think about us, yes?"

She nodded. "I know. And I don't care. Tanith is okay with it. Ghastly will be. They're the people who matter."

"What about your parents? I'm not really someone you could just introduce to them."

"I've kept nearly my whole life from them. I can keep you from them, too."

"You shouldn't have to."

"It's my choice."

He bent his head and kissed her, awkwardly, on the lips. He rarely initiated a kiss, and Valkyrie couldn't really blame him – it was easier for both of them when she took the active role – but her heart made a happy little leap at the gesture. She kissed him back with enthusiasm, delighting in the feel of his teeth and jaw bone against her lips.

xXx

Valkyrie stayed awake for a long time that night, long after Skulduggery had fallen into his meditative state. Moonlight was shining in through a gap in the curtains; it created patterns on Skulduggery's bones and made them glitter and glow. She traced the moonbeams with her finger.

Ghastly _was_ right, she thought. No, not about her age, or about her lack of knowledge of Skulduggery's past – not about either of those things being a problem, anyway.

It was meant to be. Ghastly was right about that.


	2. Part II  Meeting the Parents

A/N: At long last, part II. It was supposed to be short and funny, but apparently it's not really up to me to decide what direction a story takes once I start writing it, so instead it's a little longer and angstier. Ah well, I hope you enjoy!

Graciously beta-read by refya, as usual.

Disclaimer: nothing recognisable belongs to me. I'm just happy to play in Derek Landy's sandbox.

* * *

"It's your mother's birthday. And they're holding a party. They want you there. You, not the reflection, Valkyrie."

"I know." She sighed. "And I want to be there. It's just…"

"Yes?"

"Well… They want me to help out, with the preparations, and the cleaning up, and keeping an eye on Rachel, and… They want me to stay the whole weekend, night and all. And it's not exactly like I could just invite you over, could I?"

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Are you saying you couldn't spend even one night apart from me?"

"You don't need to sound so smug, you know."

"Sorry."

"Are you?"

"Well, no. Not really." He was quiet for a moment. "I could always sneak in at night. The window is still there, is it not? It's not that difficult for someone of my supreme skill and experience."

Valkyrie couldn't help but grin at that. There was just _something_ about Skulduggery's arrogance that almost never failed to cheer her up. Except when it annoyed her, that is, but these days, she'd more often than not caught herself thinking it was quite endearing.

"Shut up. Yes, the window is still there. I guess I'm— I mean, after the last time, when Fletcher and Tanith and Ghastly dropped in on us, I guess I'm a bit worried."

"It was a little embarrassing," Skulduggery admitted. "But it won't happen again."

"Promise?"

He pulled her into a hug. "Promise," he whispered into her ear.

Oh, the things his velvety voice was doing to her insides… It was pointless to try and hide her blush; so she turned simply her head slightly and smiled against his jaw. "It's not that I _couldn't_ spend one night without you, you know. I could. Easily. I just don't really want to."

Skulduggery didn't answer, but his hold on her tightened for a moment, before he let her go. "It's settled then. You go and have fun with your family, and I'll join you later. What could possibly go wrong?"

x X x

The party _was_ fun. There were only a few people, a couple of close family friends and some relatives on her mother's side whom Valkyrie had always liked, and – well, it was strange, being home again.

Not that she'd spent a lot of time at home anyway, not since that night she'd spent alone in Gordon's mansion after her uncle's death, but once she'd turned eighteen and moved out, she'd only been back for quick visits, sometimes not even every week.

It was good to be home again. It was good to be with her parents, and her baby sister, and with people she'd known all her life. She didn't really enjoy having to pretend and lie about her life – _Oh, I'm just taking the year off, you know; no, I haven't decided yet what to do with my life, but there's no rush, is there? I've been travelling quite a bit, it's been fun!_ – but this was a necessary evil; one she'd got quite used to. She did wish she didn't have to lie about not seeing anyone, but this, too, was a necessary evil.

Standing in the kitchen, after the guests had left, putting the dishes into the dishwasher, she let herself imagine for a moment what it might be like, introducing Skulduggery to her parents. As her – well, not boyfriend; she couldn't really call Skulduggery her boyfriend – her friend? Significant other? Partner? Something like that. He'd have to wear a disguise, of course… not his old disguise, that was just too silly, but his façade might do – although it would be difficult to explain why he looked different every time.

Yeah. Not going to happen. Just another thing she would have to keep lying about.

When did life become so complicated? Oh yes, right, the night Skulduggery saved her life.

She didn't regret it, not for a moment, but…

"Stephanie?" Her mother stepped into the kitchen. Taking a plate from her, she said, "You look exhausted. Just go to bed, I'll take care of the rest here."

Valkyrie tried to smile. She hoped it didn't look too much like a grimace.

"You really shouldn't. It's been a long day, but it's still your birthday. I'll manage. There's not a lot left anyway."

Melissa Edgley smiled back at her daughter. "It has been a long day. But I'm so glad you could come. We don't see you very much these days, and we've missed you."

"I'll try to visit more often."

Valkyrie meant it, too. They'd had a busy few months, working on a number of cases – nothing too dangerous, but time-consuming – and then she'd finally managed to convince Skulduggery to stop fighting the tension that had developed between them, and since then, they'd spent almost every spare moment exploring the delicious new aspects of their relationship, and each other. But right now, work was quiet, most of the small-time crooks had gone somewhere else and no one was trying to bring about Armageddon, so there was nothing stopping her from coming by every day or two.

At least she didn't need to use the reflection these days. Well, sometimes, but rarely.

"We didn't really get a chance to sit down and talk," her mother said. "You aren't in a hurry to leave tomorrow, are you?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "I don't think so."

"Good. Well, if you're sure you don't mind finishing up here…"

"No, it's all right. You go to bed, mum."

Melissa turned to leave, but paused and then came back inside. She tousled Valkyrie's hair. "Good night, Stephanie."

"Good night," she said, stifling a yawn.

x X x

The house was quiet, everyone else fast asleep, by the time Valkyrie made it upstairs to her old room. She cracked the window open and peered out.

"Skulduggery?" she whispered.

There was movement in the bushes outside. "Down here." He kept his voice quiet.

Valkyrie opened the window fully and sat down on her bed. Skulduggery climbed in a moment later, closed the window behind him and joined her. "I didn't want to wait on the roof," he said. "It's not very comfortable, that roof of yours."

Valkyrie smiled. He was wearing a façade; sandy hair and brown eyes this time. A nice look, as such, and safer for hiding in the bushes than not wearing a disguise, but not really what she wanted. She loosened his tie, unbuttoned his shirt and let her hands slide over his ribs, enjoying the cool smoothness of bone under her fingertips.

"Do you need help?" Skulduggery asked, cocking his head. When Valkyrie shook her head, he shrugged off his jacket and looked around. "Is there anywhere I could hang my clothes?"

"The wardrobe." Valkyrie tapped the tattoos on his collarbones and the façade flowed away, leaving the familiar grinning skull in its place. "There might even be a hanger or two still there. You can have them."

She undressed quickly, leaving her clothes in a heap on the floor, and climbed into bed. Skulduggery, as usual, took more care with his. He looked at his trousers and sighed. "Look at all this dirt! Another pair ruined."

"Just brush it off," Valkyrie suggested. It hadn't rained for a while; surely some dry soil and leaves wouldn't be that difficult to get rid of. "Besides, Ghastly's keeping busy these days, you can't just ask him to make you a new suit every day."

"Alas, you have a point there." Skulduggery flicked a leaf off the right knee and stood up straight. Valkyrie didn't miss his moment of hesitation before he removed his remaining clothes and hung them up. She wondered how long it would take until he'd feel fully comfortable undressing around her. Probably a century or two… At least he'd stopped making a fuss about his lack of flesh.

The bed creaked when he joined her under the covers. She turned off the light and snuggled up close in the narrow bed, too tired to even think about anything else – besides, having sex with anyone in her parents' house seemed just too weird to consider. As long as Skulduggery was there with her; that was really all she needed.

x X x

A stray sunbeam had made its way through the curtains. It was shining right on Valkyrie's nose. She blinked and turned her head with a yawn, her brain still sluggish with sleep, when she heard noises from the hallway.

It took her a moment to process the sounds. And another to squint at the door and realise that there was no key in the lock. Indeed, there had been no key in the lock the night before, either. Which meant that the door was unlocked, and…

"Skulduggery!" she whispered urgently. When he didn't stir, she elbowed him in the ribs. Damn him and his meditative state!

"Skulduggery!" she whispered again, not daring to raise her voice. To her relief, he turned his head towards her this time. "Hide, _now_. It's Rachel out there. I think she's coming this way and the door isn't locked."

Skulduggery nodded. "Window?"

Valkyrie shook her head. "No time. And your clothes are in the wardrobe. Get in there and keep quiet."

He didn't need to be told twice. And that was a good thing, because the door to her room was cracked open just a few moments later, letting in her little sister.

"Stephie!" she cried. "I'm bored."

Valkyrie adjusted the duvet to make sure it covered her properly and smiled, trying hard to think of something that would make a toddler happy but not require her to get out of bed. "Come here. I'll tell you a story – would you like that?" She patted the space next to her.

Rachel nodded eagerly and climbed up.

Now for a suitable story… Nothing too scary. That left out anything inspired by real life. Finally she settled on _Little_ _Red Riding Hood_.

She'd been telling the story for a few minutes, when she realised her parents were standing just outside her room, her father leaning on the doorjamb and her mother right next to him, a big smile on her face.

When she got to the point where the wolf had eaten the grandmother, Rachel interrupted her.

"Bad wolf!" she said. "I don't like this story. I have to hide away now."

Before Valkyrie could stop her – not that there was anything she could have done – her sister ran over to the wardrobe and pulled on the door, until it was wide open.

"Mummy, Daddy, look!" Rachel cried. "There's a bone man in here!"

x X x

Valkyrie let her head drop back on the pillow and closed her eyes. That was it. If she couldn't come up with a really good cover story right away… She sighed, and opened her eyes again.

"Stephanie?" asked her father, who had come in and was peering at the contents of her wardrobe, confusion evident in his face. "Why _is_ there a skeleton in your wardrobe? It's not ours, I think. It's not ours, Melissa, is it?"

"I'm quite sure it's not, Desmond," her mother said. "I've never seen it before. It looks…" She reached out and tapped Skulduggery on the head. "Oh my God. I thought it was plastic, but this looks like real bone. Feels like it, too. "

"Stephanie?" Her father's voice was more serious now. "If I didn't bring it here, and neither did your mother, you have some explaining to do. Is it supposed to be some sort of practical joke? Did you steal a skeleton somewhere and decide to hide it here? "

That was an opening she could use, Valkyrie thought. Her parents would think her weird, and would probably be disappointed if she told them she had nicked it from some place, but it'd be okay. But… It would be yet another lie.

"Give me a minute to get dressed," she said quietly. "I'll come down and explain."

When her parents had left and taken Rachel with them, she sat up and put her head in her hands.

"What am I going to do?" she asked, keeping her voice down.

Skulduggery stepped out of the wardrobe, rubbing his head. "Get dressed?" He picked Valkyrie's shirt off the floor and handed it to her.

"Thanks." Valkyrie stood up and dug around in her chest of drawers, where she kept some spare underwear. "You should probably put something on, too."

"Probably. Unless you'd prefer to go with the story of stealing me from somewhere," he said after a slight pause. "It _would_ be a decent cover, you know. They'd believe you."

"I know. Just…"

"You'd rather tell them the truth."

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know how they'd react. Not well, I think. But I've been lying to them for so long, and – well, I don't know if I want to lie to them so directly about you. And now that I'm not living at home any more, I guess…"

"A modified version of truth, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. And then they'll never want to speak to me again, ever. If they even believe it."

Skulduggery wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "Of course they will. You are awfully stupid sometimes, and annoying, and you've been lying to them about everything for seven years now, but they're your parents. They love you. They'll forgive you. Eventually."

She grinned into his shoulder bone. "You really know how to cheer a girl up."

"I've impressed you again, haven't I?"

"Oh yes. I'm very impressed."

He held her for another moment, and drew back. "You should get dressed now, or they'll come up and see what's keeping you."

"Yeah. Um… You'll stay, yes? Please."

"And put on my clothes?"

"I think you'd better. Once I've told them everything, they'll either want to talk to you or kill you or throw me out, and— It might be a good idea if you were ready."

x X x

When they'd all settled in the living room, Valkyrie drew a deep breath.

"I do owe you an explanation. About, well, a lot of things. And you're not going to like it."

"Are you saying that there is more to tell than just the story of a stolen skeleton?" her father asked. He had an odd look on his face; bemused, but there was a calculating glint in his eye, which Valkyrie had never seen before. As if he had some idea of what she was about to say.

Perhaps he did. She wondered, for a moment, if he'd ever actually believed her, the first time she'd lied to him – about magic, about Skulduggery – those many years ago.

"Yes."

"Go on," her mother said.

"I should probably start from the beginning," Valkyrie said, sitting rigidly on the edge of the sofa. Her insides were knotted with anxiety. This was worse than going up against the most hardened adversaries; at least in a fight, she always got a boost from the adrenaline. "Do you remember – when Uncle Gordon died, and we were at the reading of his will, there was someone else there? A friend of his?"

Her mother nodded. "The strange man with the strange name, all covered up from head to toe? It would be difficult to forget him."

"Yes. Him. Skulduggery Pleasant." She hesitated for a moment. "Dad, I don't know if you remember, but not long after that, Beryl mentioned that she thought she saw me with him. And I said that no, she must have been mistaken."

"Ye-es…" Desmond nodded slowly. "It was a long time ago, but I remember I was a bit worried. And that I warned you not to get involved with those people."

Valkyrie swallowed. "Yes. Well, I lied. Beryl did see me, and I was already involved. You see, Uncle Gordon didn't just die. He was murdered."

"Murdered?" Her mother looked shocked. "You're just making this up, right?"

"I wish I was. He really was murdered. And the people who did it, they came after me."

She told them about the attack, and how Skulduggery had saved her, and how she'd _had_ to get involved, because her life was already in danger. Her father's face drew darker and darker, and her mother went from looking stunned to incredulous to worried, but it wasn't until she mentioned magic that Desmond jumped up.

"I told you it didn't exist! I never— I don't know what that Pleasant and the rest of them have been poisoning your mind with, but magic is _not real_!"

Valkyrie clicked her fingers wordlessly. She let the fireball drift up, before balling her hand in a fist, pulling enough moisture out of the air to form a small cloud around the fire and extinguishing it.

"It's real, Dad. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but magic is very real."

"Parlour tricks," he scoffed, but she could see he looked genuinely disconcerted.

"Not parlour tricks. Real magic. I can't very well give you a proper show of what I can do, or it'll bring down the house."

Her mother cleared her throat, sending a guilty glance her father's way. "I… Well, I had some idea about the world that Gordon dabbled in, so I can't say it came as a total surprise, but I never expected… Anyway, go on."

She did. She told them about Skulduggery agreeing to teach her magic, and about helping him solve some cases and chase after petty criminals (she carefully omitted any references to evil gods set to take over the world, or insane extremist masterminds or professional assassins or weapons of mass destruction), and how she'd become a part of that world over the years.

Somehow, "you've actually been sharing your life with a cold, uncaring copy of me, who's spent more time with you than I have" didn't really sound like something she wanted to say, so she didn't tell them about the reflection. Instead she gave them a vague story about magic enabling her to be in two places at once at times, but that it was something that had to be used sparingly and with care.

They didn't interrupt her much, her mother asking only a few questions. Her father offered neither comments nor opinions.

When she was done with her story, she sat back, her heart beating wildly and her hands shaking. Her parents were not happy – that much was obvious. But she hoped that maybe, just maybe, Skulduggery was right and this was something they could eventually come to terms with.

"I think I speak for both of us if I say that we'll need some time to process everything," her mother said at last, choosing her words with care. "However, I have a feeling that there is still something you haven't told us. You keep mentioning Skulduggery Pleasant. I understand you consider him a friend. But there is more, isn't there?"

Her mother was certainly perceptive.

"You remember Fletcher, yes? The boy I was seeing for a while?"

Desmond nodded, finally speaking up again. "The one with the hair."

"Yes, him. Anyway, we broke up in May. And, um, yeah, I'm sort of with Skulduggery now."

"He's older than you, isn't he?" her mother asked. "I mean, older than Fletcher, too. Is that why you didn't want to mention it?"

Valkyrie hesitated. This was the difficult bit. "Uh… He's a bit older, yes. But that's not really all there is. You see, there's a reason why he wears a disguise."

"He's disfigured? Some sort of bad skin problem, or burns?"

"Not quite. There was… A long time ago, in our world – the magical world, that is – there was a war going on. And, uh, Skulduggery was… Well, he was killed in that war. He was brought back, by magic, but… He's a bit different."

"He's a _zombie_?" That was her father, again.

"No! Eww. Zombies are disgusting, they have bits falling off and they're rotting and decaying and they cannot even use magic. No, Skulduggery's not a zombie. He's, um—"

"He's a skeleton. Isn't he, Stephanie?" Her mother looked at her. Her voice was oddly toneless. "That skeleton upstairs, in your wardrobe. That's Skulduggery Pleasant."

x X x

Valkyrie hurried up the stairs and into her room. Skulduggery was standing by the window, looking out, gloved hands clasped behind his back.

He turned around when Valkyrie entered the room.

"How did it go?" His voice was tinged with concern.

Valkyrie shrugged. "Too soon to tell. They're not happy, especially Dad. I think he's quite disappointed with me. But they probably need a bit of time before it all really hits them. They want to speak to you, though."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. You don't need the disguise. I told them. Well, Mum worked it out, actually."

"Your father cannot do magic, can he?"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. "No, he can't. You should be safe. He might try and beat you up…"

"How comforting."

"You'll live."

"Valkyrie, I'm dead. I won't live."

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, whatever. Now will you please stop fiddling with your tie and come downstairs with me? I want to get this over with and go home."

Skulduggery tilted his head and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! No. I don't know. I don't feel well."

He stepped closer and touched his fingers to her cheek. "I'm sorry. For everything."

She leaned into his touch, clasping his gloved fingers with her hand, and looked up into the dark depths of his eye sockets. "Don't be. I'll be fine. I hope so, anyway."

x X x

When the door closed behind them, Skulduggery groaned.

"Does it hurt?" Valkyrie asked. "Your arm?"

"Of course it hurts. Your father can certainly throw a punch. Are you sure he's never been a champion boxer?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "I was. Not sure any more. At least you managed to block the punch."

"It would probably have shattered my jaw if I hadn't."

"Stop sulking. At least you weren't told by your own father that he regretted ever having a daughter like that."

Skulduggery winced. Or tried to, Valkyrie guessed; some of his facial expressions, especially those he used less often, still looked a bit odd with the façade on.

"Gordon always said that Desmond's a sensible man. Perhaps he was just stunned."

"And disgusted," Valkyrie muttered. "Especially whenever we touched. He actually shuddered."

Skulduggery kept walking, his long legs taking him a few steps step ahead of her. He didn't say anything, but his shoulders were slumped.

"Mum took it better than I feared," she added.

"That she did. She's a fine woman, your mother."

When they reached the Bentley, Skulduggery got inside. He waited until Valkyrie had joined him and started the engine.

"Look, Valkyrie… I'm sorry. Perhaps…"

"Don't. I know what you're going to say, and just don't. Dad was disgusted, yes – big deal. I'm not, and that's what counts here, okay? And besides, it's not like he'd welcome me back with his arms open if I decided to end things with you. There is the small matter of having lied to them for all those years, too. I think Dad took it personally… I lied to them both, yes, but he was the one who told me to stay away from all you weird cult people and Gordon's friends to start with."

Skulduggery turned his head and looked at her with cool blue eyes. "I wasn't actually going to suggest that. You've convinced me – in various very pleasurable ways, may I add – that you're not disgusted by me. I was going to say that perhaps you should take Gordon with you, the next time you pay your parents a visit. Desmond might listen to him."

"That is actually not a bad idea."

"Of course it's not. I thought of it, didn't I?" His lips twitched.

As much as she liked Skulduggery in his natural state, and preferred it to the ever-changing façade, and even though she'd become adept at reading his body language, Valkyrie was fascinated by the way his emotions showed when he was wearing a disguise. She stared at him, at his lips, mesmerised, until he cleared his throat.

Valkyrie fastened the seatbelt and grinned. "Also, Dad cannot really beat Gordon up. Which probably explains why you'd want to send him instead of coming around yourself."

He rolled his eyes and drove off.

x X x

Melissa Edgley rang the doorbell again. She waited for a few moments and finally decided that there was no one in.

She felt a little awkward about entering the house on her own. Yes, she had the key, and this was after all her daughter's home – but that was just it. Her daughter's home. Her daughter's, whose entire life she obviously knew nothing about.

It might as well have belonged to a stranger.

Still… She had the key. A key that Stephanie had given her when she'd moved in, taking over the mansion that had been Gordon's. She'd assured them that her parents would always welcome in her home.

It couldn't hurt to just stay and wait for a bit. It's not like she planned to snoop around. She'd just sit and wait, and if Stephanie didn't come home in half an hour or an hour, she'd leave and lock the door behind her.

She needed to see her daughter. It had been two weeks now, since the revelations that had stunned her and left Desmond angry and hurt, and she felt that it was her duty to patch things up. Stephanie would eventually try; she was sure of that, but the way Desmond had reacted… Well, she couldn't blame her daughter for taking her time.

Melissa was hurt, too. Of course she was. But she'd never had the near-irrational hatred and fear for Gordon's world that Desmond had, and once Stephanie and her – friend – had left, and she'd had time to think, she understood why Stephanie had kept it from them.

She hoped Stephanie would come home alone. She wasn't sure how she felt about that – that— She wasn't even sure how to think about him. It. No, him. The skeleton. Stephanie's _friend_. Her daughter's _lover_. When she closed her eyes, she would see her daughter's bare shoulders under the duvet, that morning, and that skeleton in her wardrobe, _naked_, not wearing that sharp suit he'd been dressed in later, when he'd come down with Stephanie and Desmond tried to punch him in that grinning, dead face.

She shuddered. She didn't want to think about that. Not her daughter and that, that thing.

But this was the life she'd chosen. Unless he'd somehow got her under his influence, through magical means or otherwise. The way Stephanie had talked about him… the way she'd said his name – it was clear that she looked up to him; that she was enamoured with him. His power, his skill, his knowledge, his experience. And she'd been so young, so very young, when he'd got to her. Had he manipulated her?

She had to talk to Stephanie alone.

She unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"Hello? Anybody here?" she asked, making sure her voice was loud enough.

The house was quiet, and she didn't really expect a response. So when a faintly familiar voice floated down the stairs – "Melissa? Is that really you?" – she jumped, startled.

Surely not… "Gordon?"

It _was_ Gordon. Gordon, who had died more than seven years ago. Gordon, looking ethereally transparent.

"It is you!" He peered at her, concern on his face. "You should sit down. You look like you'd seen a ghost!"

"Uh… Aren't you one? A ghost?"

Gordon – if that really was him – chuckled. "No, no. Something quite different. I will explain, if you wish, but I take it that you're here to see Valkyrie – er, Stephanie, that is. My dear, it's so very good to see you! How have you been? How is my dear brother? I, uh, overheard some days ago that you and Valky— er, Stephanie – had a falling out. I believe she told you some things she'd until now kept from you?"

Melissa nodded, dumbfounded. This was impossible. Had to be. Then again, two weeks ago she would have said that it was impossible for skeletons to walk and talk and do magic. She pinched the bridge of her nose and decided to take things at face value. If it was a dream, she'd wake up and no one would be any wiser, so what did she have to lose?

"And you're here to patch things up? I hope so; she's been quite distraught, you know." Gordon's voice grew serious. "She loves you, and she's worried things will never be the same again. Skulduggery's been telling her that no parents who love their child could ever just shut her out of their lives completely, but of course in the absence of any communication from you, and believe me, I know how stubborn Desmond can be…"

"Yes. Ah, that is, I did come here to talk to Stephanie, actually. I was hoping to catch her on her own, to have a talk…"

Gordon's ghostly form spread his arms. "She's out on some case with Skulduggery. No telling when they'll be back." He paused for a moment, thinking. "I take it that you know about her and Skulduggery, yes?"

Melissa nodded, not bothering to hide her displeasure. "I know he was a friend of Gordon's – um, yours – but really, he's a, well, _skeleton_! Did you know that?"

"Oh yes. It was a little surprising at first, but one gets used to it, you know. And he's a good man. I admit I was initially a little taken aback when it happened, because it's not every day that you see your favourite niece kiss your good friend, especially when the friend happens to be a skeleton, but I have to say I think it's a wonderful match. They're very fond of each other."

Melissa sat down on the sofa with a heavy sigh. "It just doesn't seem right. What am I saying – it's crazy, really. He's a skeleton! And now that I know that he's been the one teaching my little girl all these things about magic, and chasing after criminals, and she was at such an impressionable age… still is, really…"

"You're afraid he's been taking advantage of her?"

"To be honest, yes."

Gordon shook his head. "It's not like that. I haven't been privy to everything, of course, but Valkyrie – sorry, Stephanie; she's going by her taken name these days but I imagine it must sound odd to your ears – stumbled across me not long after she had got involved in this world, and so I've been able to keep an eye on her and her doings."

He paused for a moment, one hand on hip, the other thoughtfully on his lips. "I rather pride myself on being a good judge of character, and believe me, Skulduggery's not the type to take advantage. In fact, it took your daughter quite a bit of time and effort to convince him that she was serious about wanting to, uh, you know…"

Melissa winced. "Please. I don't want to know."

"Neither did I, believe me." Gordon's translucent form shuddered. It was a strange effect. "I have had the misfortune to witness some of their more private moments together; quite by accident, I assure you, and… Let's just say that Stephanie is quite clearly neither disgusted nor repulsed by him, and that was something Skulduggery had a hard time believing at first. He would never have made the first move, and I'm certain that he never expected this to happen."

Melissa shook her head. In a way, it was a relief to hear that, but… was this even Gordon? What if this ghostly person talking to her was just some magic construct, made up to tell her more lies? On the other hand, it looked like Gordon and sounded like Gordon…

"He's a good man," Gordon said again. "An honourable man. A gentleman of the old school. He just happens to lack flesh and blood, through no fault of his own. Don't hold that against him. And your daughter loves him. I don't know if she's ever said as much, certainly not to me and I doubt she's told Skulduggery, but to someone with my eyes and observational skills, it's been obvious for a while now."

Melissa rubbed her temples. "Try telling that to Desmond," she muttered.

"I would," said Gordon, "if I could meet him. I'm, how should I put it, somewhat tethered to something called an Echo Stone, but if someone took that with them, I could come along… In fact, Val— Stephanie, that is, mentioned the other day that she had that in mind. I think she wanted to wait for a while to let Desmond cool down, though…"

"It still doesn't change the fact that she lied to us. For so many years!"

Gordon crouched down in front of her. "She didn't want to. It wasn't her idea to become involved in the first place, you know. She was dragged into it, by people who wanted to kill her. By the people who killed me – killed the real Gordon, anyway. And once involved, well… Be honest, Melissa; if you had been in your daughter's place, what would you have done?"

It was a question she had asked herself before. She'd had some idea, although vague, of the world Gordon had moved in, before she married Desmond, but she'd never taken it entirely seriously. Still, if she'd believed in it, and if she'd had any reason to believe it was all _real_… And Stephanie had always been more adventurous, independent, headstrong and curious. If she'd been in Stephanie's place, well…

"I don't know if I'd have wanted to tell Desmond the truth, either," she admitted at last. "Not after being told to keep away from it all, anyway."

Gordon nodded. "And if she didn't feel she could tell her father the truth, she wouldn't have wanted to risk telling you either."

She sighed. "Thank you. It's been helpful to have someone to talk to about everything."

She stayed for another hour, talking to Gordon – he told her about that stone and how he had come about – it was all very confusing, but she thought she got the gist of it. He also filled her in about some of what Stephanie had been up to during all those years, although his answers were evasive enough to make her think there were still things deliberately kept from her. Well, it was a start; she could learn the rest later.

"It's getting late," she said at last. "I suppose I should go."

"It's been such a pleasure to see you again," Gordon said. He dabbed at his eyes. "I'm sorry. It's been such a long time since I've met anyone apart from Val, Skulduggery and some of their friends. I'd really like to see Desmond again, and I gather I have a new little niece, even – not that she's quite ready yet to meet me in my present condition, I should think."

Melissa smiled. "Probably not yet. But I'll try and talk to Desmond. You will tell Stephanie that I was here, won't you? And that I'd really want to talk to her again. Perhaps she can come by when she has time. And…" She hesitated. "It might be better if she didn't bring Mr Pleasant. For Desmond's sake. Maybe some other time, when we're all a bit more used to this. After what you told me about him, I think I'd like to get a chance to get to know him a little better, but, well…"

"You need some time," Gordon said. "I understand. But once you're ready, I think you'll find him a remarkably interesting individual. I think you'd get along just fine."

x X x

The house was empty when Valkyrie and Skulduggery got back that night – or early morning, rather. They'd been following a small group of brand new vampires on a feasting spree.

"All in all, a success," Valkyrie muttered and yawned. "Do you think the one that got away is going to cause more trouble?"

"Undoubtedly," Skulduggery said. He held the door open for her. "But we can hope that seeing his two comrades taken down will make him lay low for a while."

Valkyrie stepped inside and kicked her boots off with a weary sigh. "I'm tired."

"Bed, then? Or do you want something to eat first?"

"Food, I think. And a shower would be nice." She looked at the bloodstains on the sleeves of her coat. "Eww. Gross."

"You go ahead then; I'll put the kettle on and see if I can dig up some sandwich material for you."

Valkyrie felt the familiar rush of warmth at his words. "You're terribly good to me sometimes, Skulduggery. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He laughed and bent down to brush her cheek with his teeth. "Starve, probably."

x X x

A familiar figure was floating on the upstairs landing. "Finally!" Gordon exclaimed. "Do you know how long I've been waiting up for you?"

"Oh, hello, Gordon," Valkyrie said. "Waiting up for me? Why? What's going on?"

"Your mother came by earlier. She wants to – well, she wants to talk, but I think she's as good as forgiven you."

"My mother? Are you sure?" Valkyrie couldn't hold back the grin that Gordon's words caused. "Did you see her? Did _she_ see _you_?"

"She did, and we had a very lovely chat. She's such a fine woman, your mother. Oh, I do sometimes wish… Ah, but that's not the point now."

"What did she say?"

"Not a lot, but she was willing to listen."

"Did she say anything about Dad?"

"She did. I fear that it might take longer for him to come around… but she wants me to talk to Desmond."

Valkyrie grinned again. "I'll take you with us the next time, then. Oh, I just cannot believe Mum came here! I mean, I hoped she'd be the one to forgive me first, but… This is wonderful. Thank you!"

x X x

Skulduggery was waiting for her in the Bentley. Valkyrie opened the door and climbed inside.

"How did it go?" Skulduggery's voice didn't betray a thing, but it was obvious from the way he held himself that he wasn't nearly as cool and confident as he was trying to appear.

Valkyrie smiled and kissed him on the waxy cheek. "It went well. I think they're both starting to come to terms with everything." She patted her pocket. "Thanks to Gordon, really; Dad nearly fainted when I took him out but he got over it. And they had a nice long man-to-man talk while mum interrogated me in the kitchen."

"Interrogated?"

"Well, yeah. Questioned me about all sorts of things. You, mostly."

"And?"

"I told her you're really annoying. And smug. And arrogant. And that I hate you sometimes."

Skulduggery rolled his eyes. Valkyrie marvelled at how well he'd perfected that particular action, in spite of the eyes not even being real.

She grinned. "And then I told her that I love you anyway."

He turned his head and looked at her.

"Not really the way I imagined it, to be honest – hearing those words from you for the first time. But I'll take it."

She looked at him, serious this time. "I do, you know."

"I know. I do, too."

"Love yourself? Well, duh. We all know that."

"That anyway. But no, I didn't mean that. Not just that, anyway."

She swallowed, her throat awfully dry now. "What did you mean then? I mean, I think I know what you meant, but I'd like to hear you say it."

"Say what? I love you, silly girl."

"I could have done without the 'silly girl'…"

"Sorry."

"Are you?"

"Well, no. You _are_ silly and you are a girl. I was only stating the facts."

"But you still love me."

"To borrow your own words – well, duh."

She laughed and wriggled around in the seat, cursing at the seatbelt that got in the way. "Come closer. I need to get rid of this silly façade of yours so I can kiss you properly. You can put it back up later."

"Can't it wait?"

"Well, if you don't want me to…"

The façade was off in a flash and Skulduggery's teeth were nipping at her neck. She revelled in the way his strong, hard jaw felt against her lips.

A few minutes later, she withdrew, her breath coming in short gasps. "I think we'd better get home. And fast."

"As you wish."

He activated his façade, gave her a smug look, and started the engine.

The End.


End file.
